Celebrations...

 

Mr A turned 21 earlier this year.

 

This is one of many milestones he has reached recently.

 

Along with moving into his own home, setting up a ten pin bowling team, socialising regularly with friends, starting his own small business and owning a pet, it's one he's justifiably proud of.

 

It seems the norm these days for 21 year olds to still be living at home with Mum and Dad. Therefore Mr A is something of an anomaly in some circles. Add in his level of disability, and he is perhaps, somewhat unique.

 

The practical steps we needed to take to reach this outcome, are documented elsewhere in this blog.

 

The emotional ones are many and varied.

 

We never for a moment accepted that just because Mr A had a disability, that he would not just do what everyone else his age does...within reason. Riding a motorcycle is not a realistic goal, nor is becoming a brain surgeon, ballet dancer, or ball player. Although of those three, it was probably only ball player that was of any real interest...lol!

 

But attending a mainstream school, gaining a tertiary qualification, having a wide circle of friends, and moving into a home of his own, were all achieveable. And have been achieved.

 

So, what's next?

 

Number One, top of the list....a girlfriend.

 

Hmmm....online dating looks a possibility. With shaking hands and tremulous heart, we embark on the next mission. Surely it'll be easy compared to what we've done so far?

 

The Dr Seuss style cake depicted here is representative of our approach always. It doesn't have to be perfect. It just has to be right. For each of us there is a Miss or Mr Right out there. Surely for Mr A, it's no different.

 

Wish us luck!

 

 

1 thing, 1000 times or The Neverending Staircase

Did your Mother ever say to you 'If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times....'? Did you ever wonder what it meant? In Mums' case, it was an expression of frustration. But let me say, you don't know frustration until you have a child with a disability.

This illustration is probably an appropriate visual. A neverending staircase, going round and round in circles, leaving you feeling like you're going nowhere.

When you have a child with a disaability, you learn that everyone's first answer is 'no'. And it doesn't matter what the question is.

Some questions we've asked that have been met with a no are:

"Can he play a sport?"

"Can he join in with the other kids?"

"Can he join your acting class/bowling league/football club?"

"Can we have a different sort of wheelchair?"

"Is there somewhere for our son to socialise with members of the opposite sex?"

It's all no-no-no.

What we've learned over 21 years and some few months, is that sometimes it's a case of doing one thing a thousand times to get the result we need. Whether it's making one phone call a thousand times to the same person, or the same phone call to a thousand different people, it seems to take that to make things happen.

After what seems like a thousand thousand phone calls, letters, emails and conversations, our son finally achieved some funding to live independently.

After nearly a thousand more, he is now setting up a bowling team of his own.

And I guess it'll take another thousand to help him find a life partner..his next dream.

As the Chinese proverb says... The journey of a lifetime begins with but a single step.

Many, many steps, a thousand thousand things done a thousand thousand thousand times.

It's all worth it in the end.

Look how far we've come already.

A new venture...

We who have children with special needs tend to have to shelve our own needs so often. It's a part of life, isn't it?

For that matter, those who live life with a disability often face a life of financial hardship to boot. Government handouts are never generous in that respect.

My friend Kimmie and I have a new venture...a blog devoted to living our best possible life on a limited income.

It's called From Dimes to Diamonds and we're promising lots of lush and lovely ideas, and regular giveaways for our loyal followers.

Please join us.